I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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