my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
