from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i would one night stand the shit outta him
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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