fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
