Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
