That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
