No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
