So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
