Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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