If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
