Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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