Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
