oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
