So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
