We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
