I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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