Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
