I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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