She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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