we're chasing vodka with high fives
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
