Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
