Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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