she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
