You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
