what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
