I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
