Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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