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In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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