when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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