Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
