her facebook's as public as her vagina
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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