I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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