Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
