so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize