My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
