i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
