just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize