im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
