She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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