Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
