Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
