you win again, gameday.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
