If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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