Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
