Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
