What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
