Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
