just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
