Is it normal to miss your booty call?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
