recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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