Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
