she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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