at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
