just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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