Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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