he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize