All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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