Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
