She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
