Those balls look pretty dangerous.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
