Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
