stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
