I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
