Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
God I need to hump something, right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
