She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
