i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just threw up on my dentist
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
