Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
