Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
