i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
