hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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